Joel & Amy

Baby #2?

2012-01-08T23:03:00.000-05:00

Foster care is a really interesting thing.

Last July we received a call from our caseworker. The coversation went a little bit like this:

Caseworker: "Amy, birth mom is expecting a baby. Would you and Joel be willing to take another baby?"
Me: I'm pretty sure. We've always said we would. We want a big family and would love our little man to have a birth sibling, but let me check with Joel to make sure"
Caseworker: "Ok, sounds good. I should also let you know that she is DUE ANY DAY"
Me: "ummm, ok"

Meanwhile, Instant Panic.

We were completing an International Triathlon in 5 days and leaving in 2 weeks for our summer vacation for 10 days. We would need to rearrange our entire home, our entire life, make a million newborn purchases including a car seat, crib, & clothing. We had a major race to complete, needed to consider taking a newborn to the beach or consider cancelling our vacation...AND not let our already "unplanned for a baby" life stop for a second. This moment of panic must be the reason God gives pregnant mom's 9 months to prepare.

Another baby? Our little guy isn't even 1 yet! How can I expect him to be a big brother when he is still a baby? Does this really mean I can't carry him around everywhere because my hands will be full with baby #2? He's not ready, I'm not ready for him to be a toddler yet.

Back on the phone to our caseworker: "Count it as a YES. I'll talk to Joel in a couple hours. If he says no, then I'll call you back right away, but I'm 99% sure he'll say yes"

The next few days felt like a whirlwind. We decided to make a couple major purchases, like a crib and start making lists of everything we needed in case the baby showed up. But in case the baby didn't, why turn our life into a chaotic whirlwind?

So we lived life. We completed the triathlon. We went on vacation. We were anxious. We were excited. We had a million questions. We waited and waited and waited and were told week after week, "baby is due any day".

By the end of Sept, we received the news that birth mom was not due until 2012. I was honestly relieved. The baby was alive and healthy. I had more time to watch our son turn from a baby into a toddler, and more time to prepare our little family to grow.

The crazy part about foster care is that you never know anything for sure. To help people from asking too many questions that we may or may not become sick of answering, we chose to just break the news to close friends and family. As time marches on and our home has an extra nursery and our hearts grow with anticipation, we have started sharing with more people, but it is always an interesting conversation.

I understand why. I understand that people are excited for us, but they feel a lot of sadness that another baby may be placed into the foster care system.

I understand that I do not have a cute ultrasound photo to share or a big belly for all to see and that the reason for excitement in my life means loss for another mother. I understand that foster care is a tricky mess. I understand this conflict of emotion that others have for us because we feel it too. We are excited, anxious, over joyed, while at the same time feel the heart ache of the situation.

Caseworkers told us to prepare for baby #2 to join our family, but we will not know for sure if this little one is entering our home until we are holding this baby in our arms. We are hoping and praying that this will happen in the next month or so.

Until then, we prepare. We prepare the same way any other 9 month pregnant mommy is preparing right now too. We place another car seat in our car, wash a million newborn outfits, and make sure we have everything this little girl or boy may need his or her first few weeks of life. We wait and hope that we'll be holding a sweet newborn in our arms soon.

We are thankful for our family and friends who have been so supportive of our journey and have shared in our excitement. Thankful for these precious little children. Thankful for a God who walks through this path of parenting and season of uncertainty with us. Thankful for what might be our last few full nights of sleep for a while.

Recap of our 2011 Goals

2011-12-31T22:36:00.000-05:00

We're here, really, just have not been blogging like we should. We've been busy chasing a toddler, expanding my growing company, soaking up lots of time with family and slipping in a couple seasons of Lost over the last 2 months.

As we celebrate our last few hours of 2011, it's always helpful to me to look back on Goals We Set in 2011. So here we go:

1. Complete a Triathlon-Goal sort of reached on July 31, 2011. You can read about my finish here. I am choosing to complete my finish as a goal. Crossing the start line of an International Triathlon is much closer to crossing the finish line than I ever thought I would reach. My goal was to learn from the experience, enjoy a challenge with my husband, raise money toward adoption for a sweet family, and challenge myself at an all new level. Goal completed in my heart even if I missed 1.5 miles of the run in the International Triathlon.

2. Complete the 10 Day Real Food Challenge-We set this goal because we wanted to reduce the preservatives that were a part of our diet. We chose to eat "real food" except for sugar for 10 days early in 2011 and pretty much stuck with it for the rest of the year. It dramatically changed our grocery bill, our cooking, and our eating habits. I've wanted to blog about it for many, many months. I promise, I will someday soon! It was a small goal that brought a big life change to our family in 2011.

3. Read Books-Joel reached his goal of 48 books. I wanted to read 12...waaay less than 52 the year before! Joel reached his goal complete with a certain # of books in each genre. Me? I did a terrible job keeping track, but I think l reached this goal. If I did not, it is all of Lost's fault the last 2 months :)

4. Pick up the house every night-mission completed....most nights!

5. Joel's study goals-Joel has a life long goal of studying Greek & Hebrew every week for 1.5 hours. He has studied faithfully since graduation and continues to do the same. So proud of him!

6. Build deeper friendships-anyone who has moved to a new city will tell you that building new friendships can be tough. We knew that if we wanted to make friends it would take time and a little effort on our part. We joined a small group and made an effort to regularly hang out with our new friends outside of small group to deepen these relationships. We're thankful, really, really thankful for the friendships that have developed over the last year.

7. Sell our condo-completed March 2011. You can read about it here.

8. Amy complete 1 DIY Project every month-Not sure if I finished a project monthly, but pretty sure I completed 12 projects in the last 2 months alone. Cannot wait to show you all of the projects we have completed.

9. Buy almost all clothing used-goal completed! I purchased a few items new for our little man, but purchased very few items new for Joel and I this year.

10. Add at least 1 pin to our US Map-Not completed, but were able to take our little toddler to a couple of our favorite places & add a few pins to his map in 2011: Chicago and Bethany Beach.

11. Add a foster baby to our family-our sweet son entered our family in February 2011. This goal out tops all other goals by far!!

Pain of this Life

2011-11-02T13:53:00.000-04:00

You know when you receive the phone call that makes your world stop. The phone call you wish you could erase. The news you never thought was possible to happen to your family.

2 weeks ago Joel's mom called me in tears. She said Joel's dad had been experiencing headaches the last few weeks and had visited his doctor earlier that day. The doctor quickly admitted Joel's dad to the hospital because of a tumor that was found on his brain.

48 hours later he was undergoing serious brain surgery.

Any news we have received the last couple of weeks is never the news we want to hear. Large tumor. Aggressive. Stage 4. Glioblastoma multiforme.

Sleepless nights. Baffled by the news. Wishing it was only a bad dream. Wishing the doctors were wrong. It cannot be. He is young, extremely healthy, active, with decades of grand parenting left. Why does this news hurt so much? Why is it him? Why so early?

If you've followed my blog for any length of time, you will know that Joel's parent's are extremely special to us. They are the ones we eagerly join on vacation. They are the people we wish could stay a few extra days after every visit at our home. They are the ones we are always asking to come move closer to us.

4 precious grandchildren live in Wyoming who need more Papa time. We have a future home we need Joel's dad's help to redo. We have plans of adding a few more children to our family and they need to have decades of Papa in their life. We have many more years of beach vacations to take and many years of celebrating life on this earth with him.

We know God works miracles and we're praying hard for a miracle to take place.

Radiation and chemo treatments start next week. We're begging all of you to pray with us. Pray for the doctors. Pray for strength for Joel's dad. Pray for optimism for everyone. We are all still in a state of shock. Please, pray for a miracle. Pray that God would take away this tumor and none of these treatments would have to take place.

We're clinging to positive stories we have heard of patients who have had the same tumor and lived many, many years. We're clinging to a great God who is in control of all things, even big things like tumors that we do not understand.

Questions People Ask Us About Foster Care

2011-10-04T10:00:00.000-04:00

I always feel torn about telling others that we do foster care. If it was just about my opinion or feelings, I would not have a problem sharing. I want others to learn about foster care with the hope that they'll consider foster care for themselves.

But I choose not to tell a lot of people. The problem is, foster care automatically places a label on my son. It automatically makes him the child with a "history" and with possible "issues". I want to do my part to make his life as "normal" as possible.

It's happened time and time again. I'll be chatting with someone about my son. We'll talk about his silly personality, his new developments, how parenting has changed our life. You know, "The Normal Parenting Conversation". Then, far too often another "normal" question will come, "Where did you give birth to your son?" or "how was your pregnancy?" (yep, birth and pregnancy questions arise more often than you think!") Then, I'll tell them he is a foster child. Then, the conversation has a very awkward silence. Then the questions start.

I've listed a few of the many questions I receive and listed my real answers. My apologies if my answers sound harsh. I understand everyone is somewhere on a path on their knowledge of foster care and adoption. I truly want to extend grace and patience to everyone because I know I use to (and probably still do) ask a lot of rude questions to people who are farther down on this journey of adoption and foster care than me.

But, this is my blog and I also want to be real. Sometimes these questions hurt. I've shed many tears for my little son and "the label" that is on his life. Why must the questions people ask always change when they learn my son is in foster care? Why does my son go from being a very "normal" child to one with all kinds of issues. He is still the same child with the sweet smile & silly personality you have been watching for the last five minutes of our conversation.

Deep down, I hope people will be gracious enough not to ask these questions in front of him when he is old enough to understand them. I hope he will never feel the label people place on his life.

If you're reading this, please know I want to answer your questions. I want to help you understand adoption and foster care. Please also be sensitive to those in foster care, those who have been adopted, and those of us who are somewhere in the middle.

Here are a few of the questions we receive regularly.

QUESTION: So, are you and Joel not able to have your own children?

My Polite Answer: We're open to it. Foster care/adoption is plan A for us.
Real Answer: My heart breaks that you automatically assume foster care/adoption is our second choice. We've never tried to get pregnant. We're very open to having our own children down the road, but not opposed to adopting all of our children either. We want to do everything we can to provide safe and loving homes for as many children as possible and want our foster/adopted children to know that they have been and always will be part of our plan for having children.

QUESTION: What's your little guy's history? Why is he in foster care? What is his story? Was it drugs?

My Polite Answer: There are a lot of reasons. We are really lucky to be the ones to provide him a safe and loving home right now. We want our son to tell his story as he chooses in the future .
Real Answer: Wow! Can't believe I was asked this question AGAIN. What makes you think you have the right to know?!?!? This little toddler that you see running around will someday be a 10, 15, 20 year old young man. He has feelings. He has a heart. We want him to be able to share his story on his own in his own time in the future. We do not want him to always wonder who in his life might know more about his story than he does.

And, people always assume he is in foster care because of drugs! Did you know that babies can be born drug exposed at the hospital (meaning birth mom used drugs within 24 hours of giving birth) and usually that baby is sent home with that birth mom. Just because a child is born with drugs in their system does not automatically mean they will be placed into foster care. Another extenuating circumstance must be present in the child's history for a baby born drug exposed to be placed into the foster care system. I hope this breaks your heart just as much as it breaks mine. Do you realize how challenging waking up for those middle of the night feedings can be? Imagine being on drugs and trying to care for a newborn? Are those newborns really being cared for the way they should be? This is one of the many things wrong with the system, but unfortunately the system is trying to work with the limited number of foster homes they have available and limited money in the budget.
And, did you know that hundreds of babies born drug exposed live a very normal life. Babies born drug exposed are amazing and they have an incredible ability of developing like any other typical baby. I'm not saying this to underestimate the babies who do have results due to the drug use of their birth mother. Many babies have many real issues and need therapy, but it is not right to assume a drug exposed baby will have all types of issues in the future.

QUESTION: How much money are you paid for doing foster care?

My Polite Answer: Sometimes enough to pay the costs of raising a child. There have been many months where we have spent more than we have received. You cannot make an income on being a foster parent, but we are super thankful for the financial help we receive.
Real Answer: I understand this is a fair question. Children cost money. We would not be able to consider taking in so many children in the future if we were not given money to help meet their needs. People may be considering to not be foster parents because of the extra costs & I want to help assure them financial assistance is available to help.

QUESTION: Where does your child's _______ hair come from? Why is his skin a different shade?

My Polite Answer: it runs in the family
Real Answer: I get it, our son looks different than us. Thanks for noticing. We hadn't noticed ourselves. I've had to teach myself to never ask these types of questions to others because it automatically separates a child from the adopted family. Think, if the adopted child hears people say this all of the time (which I typically receive this question once a day), the separation continues to be drawn again and again and again.

Please know, that if you are a close friend or family member, that we really appreciate your questions. We appreciate your care. We appreciate your concern. We appreciate your understanding when we cannot always tell you the answers to your questions. Please know, that sometimes it's really hard to not tell you everything. We're human and long to be able to process the information we receive with those around us. We know we have messed up on this and we'll probably mess up again. We're not perfect, just 2 parents who mess up and continue learning a lot along the way what this foster parenting thing is all about. We feel pretty lucky that God has entrusted us, even in our brokenness, to raise this sweet little toddler.

A Film You Must See

2011-09-21T20:24:00.002-04:00

We've been....reading.

2011-09-10T22:40:00.000-04:00

Most people would probably say we're losers, but come by our house almost any night and you'll find our TV off.

During our first few years of marriage, our life was c.r.a.z.y. The kind of crazy I'd never want to return to. We were young & managed, but seriously, we were running at 120% all.the.time. One huge perk to this was cutting TV out of our life. I know people say they're busy, but we were the kind of busy that was trying to jam pack 4 years of life into 2. Literally, there was hardly time to make sure we had clean socks let alone watch an episode of Lost.

Honestly, it was probably one of the best ways to start a marriage, because we learned our life was extremely happy without television. Over 4 years later, we've kept the TV off (except for a 30 minute episode of The Office 8 times a year. (I wish I could work as little as the actors on The Office work and still receive their salary!)

Cutting out television is a beautiful thing. Seriously. The average American watches 4 hours every day which means we get to enjoy 4 extra hours of "non-tv" time in our day, every single day.

How do we fill up those extra 4 hours every day?

Lately, it's been long family walks, family pillow fights (it's our little "baby/toddler's" favorite game these days), & lots of reading.

A few books we've been enjoying include:

If I could, I'd force everyone to read this book. It's a life changing type of book.

Here's another life changer. We're forcing our small group to read a chapter of this book next week and a few chapters from the first book next month.

This book is not what you're thinking, it's a leadership book. I read the first 1/2 of the book the other night. I'm having trouble putting this book down. I never grow tired of learning more about leadership & this book has been particularly applicable to my company.

I found this book on my sister's "donate" pile and I snatched it up & am so happy I did. It's another life changing type of a read.

It's crazy, but our little man is no longer a baby, but a toddler, so time to pull out the next monthly development book!

We're Baaaack

2011-08-27T16:56:00.000-04:00

And have been back all week, but as always, blogging quickly was pushed behind work, grocery shopping, & taking a respite foster child for a few days.

We had a fabulous time sleeping, long walks on the beach, eating sea food, and lots of fun family time spent chasing our 1 year old.

I think we took 300 pictures last week--yet, I can only post less then a handful of them on here. Only 6 of the 300 do not show our sweet son. He really is the center of attention and camera in this family!

We spent last week vacationing with Joel's parents at Bethany Beach, DE. My parents joined us for 2 nights as well as Joel's grandparents for one night.

After a pretty busy summer of work for both of us, we were pretty excited to have lots of family time soaking up the sun at the beach.

A beautiful sunset with my best friend. Joel's parents watched our son one evening so that Joel & I could sneak away on a date. I soak up any time with just the 2 of us these days! We enjoyed a yummy dinner, beautiful sunset over the baby, then walked over to beach to watch the moon rise over the water. I love living life with this guy.

It would not be difficult to convince me to move to the beach. I love the sun, sand, water, & food.

Joel's parents are seriously amazing grandparents. I do not think I will ever want to go on a vacation without them again. They insisted that I needed to vacation on this trip as well & were happy to spend hours entertaining our son. Our little man adores these two so much & we feel pretty lucky to have them in our life.

Gardening

2011-08-09T07:14:00.000-04:00

Joel has been busy planting, watering, & weeding this summer. It is our first year with a real garden that consists of plants in the ground and not only in pots on a patio. I have been loving the lower grocery bill and the accessibility of picking a tomato from our garden and not needing to run to the store for it. Plus, it's organic and has not sat on a truck for thousands of miles!

Our garden started like this....

and has turned into this...

Happy Birthday Little Man

2011-08-05T22:41:00.001-04:00

Our little baby is no longer a baby...he turns 1 tomorrow. Next week will mark 6 months that he has been a part of our family. It's hard to imagine "our family" before he arrived. Even though legally the paperwork does not say he is ours yet, our hearts disagree.

Celebrating his first birthday feels a little awkward. We are extremely excited for a day designated to celebrate him, but it's a little strange to not have memories of his birth. We will probably never know many details surrounding his birth.

1 year ago, I was wishing Joel was in Pittsburgh. We had just moved from Chicago to Pittsburgh the week before. Joel's first week at work included leading a group of teenagers to Tennessee for a week. I was miserable. I think that week actually marks the worse week of my life. Our place was still covered in boxes. I was alone. I did not know 1 person. Joel had zero cell phone reception & no internet access. I think I cried a few hours every day that week, just feeling extremely lonely.

Little did I know my little son was tucked away in a hospital celebrating his first day of life. A little crazy to think that when I was crying over feeling so alone 1 year ago, our sweet little son who would one day be my little companion all day every day was being born.

I cannot wait to celebrate my little man's big day tomorrow. Part of me cannot help but be a little sad that we missed out on the first 6 months of his life. We'll never have any birth pictures to show him when he's older or we'll probably never know the exact time of day he was born. We'll never be able to tell him at what age he rolled over for the first time or what his very first food was. With foster care and adoption comes loss. I am a little nervous to have to explain to him why all of his friends have birth pictures of themselves, yet we do not have a picture of him at the hospital or a picture of him at 2, 3, 4 or 5 months old.

But really, the joy that comes with adoption far out weighs the loss involved. I know God will carry us through the difficult times with His grace and joy.

Happy Birthday Little Man.

You are no longer a baby, but a toddler who is growing up way.too.fast.

But you'll forever be our little man.

And our little baby.

You are a treasure.

You have forever changed our family

and even made Kitty a little jealous around here.

We love you for who you are.

We love your sweet hugs

and adorable smile.

We love the way you light up a room instantly.

We love your charm.

We've had 6 months of loving you

and tomorrow celebrate 1 year of your life.

We cannot wait for many, many more.

We thank God for you.

We thank your birth parents for giving you life.

We cannot wait to see the person you will become.

Happy 1st Birthday!

Love,

Mama and Dada

My Triathlon Story

2011-08-04T21:07:00.000-04:00

Joel and I set out on our journey to finish a triathlon almost 2 years ago. We had just completed the Chicago Marathon and were ready for our next challenge. So, we bought pool passes that winter. We had no idea how to swim, but were determined to try. We swam regularly for weeks. We were the young couple at the pool that all of the old ladies were passing.

But then, life got a little crazy. Well, insanely crazy & we quickly realized we did not have the time to train like we needed. So we waited.

We waited until January 2011. We added the Pittsburgh Triathlon to our yearly list.

Then, our baby joined our lives in February. Then, we had a lot of trouble finding a cheap pool pass. Then, Joel worked crazy hours in the month of July. Then, I worked a lot. If you have ever trained for a long distance race, you know it takes a tremendous time commitment. The list goes on, but the result is the same: we did not train the way we knew we should have. Yet, we knew people run marathons without training, so we could complete a triathlon with little training, right?

July 31, 2011-Race Day

I woke up at 3 am feeling just awful on race morning. I knew a lot of it had to do with nerves, but I was literally almost panicking. I'm not one to panic. EVER. Even after a summer of "swimming", I still did not know how to swim. Panicking in a huge body of water + not really knowing how to swim can never be a good idea. Joel & I were in different start waves which meant we could not swim side by side. Swimming 1 mile is really far, especially out in the middle of a big river that I had never swam in before. All of our training had been in water that we could touch our little toesy's to the bottom.

I did the unthinkable when Joel's alarm went off at 5:15. I told him I was out of the swim. I think telling Joel that I was failing was the hardest part. We had chosen to do this race together and I was backing out. He accepted my swim race withdraw graciously and promised me he was not disappointed in me.

1 Mile Swim
Joel rocked the swim in 50 minutes. We knew this was our weakest area and hoped to finish the swim in an hour. I met him when he came out of the water to run to transition area to grab our bikes for round 2 of the triathlon.

25 Mile Bike
Pittsburgh's bike course consists of a 12.5 mile bike course in the HOV lanes of a major interstate that the International Triathlon participants loop twice. 6 of those miles are a steady uphill climb. This is a Pittsburgh hill which means it's steep for a girl like me. It was not easy. This was the part of the race where we laughed. Laughed at everyone's $2,000 road bikes and our $30 Wal-mart mountain bikes. We laughed at the fact that everyone around us was 3X's our age. It was a little funny, but we held strong, stayed with each other, & kept reminding ourselves this race was not about our place, but rather the journey that brought us here. Some people choose the Cheesecake factory for a date, Joel & I choose a triathlon.

6 Mile Run
We placed our bikes into the transition area and headed off onto our run. If you've never tried running after a 25 mile bike ride, you should try it. Your legs ache. It's not fun. Everything inside of you is telling you to just stop. I ran the first 1.5 miles, then let Joel run ahead. He ran the middle 1.5 without me and then we ran the final 1.5 miles together, crossing the finish line holding hands.

We met up with Joel's parents & our son and enjoyed a few snacks in the hot sun before heading home. We enjoyed a lunch of Chinese food, then I headed to the pool to complete my 1 mile swim in the afternoon.

Recovery was MUCH faster than recovery from the marathon!! Joel's parents stayed with us and did a fabulous job of caring for our little man all day. He loved all of the extra attention from the grandparents.

I didn't reach my goal. Honestly, I feel ok about it. I have zero plans for trying again in the future. Joel and I made a lot of memories this summer and that was the plan all along. We love taking part in activities together and this is one goal we will probably laugh about for years to come.

Next year I plan to cheer Joel on at whatever race he chooses. I'll be his biggest fan before, during, & after training, but for myself, I plan to take the summer off from any crazy races. Joel on the other hand continues talking about 1/2 an iron-man...

Joel at Work

2011-07-27T13:50:00.000-04:00

People often ask Joel, "what do you really do at work?". His response, "throw snowballs at middle schoolers". It's true, part of his job involves hanging out with middle school students and taking part in a lot of fun & crazy activities. On a more serious side, he plans lots of events, teaches middle school students every week, leads camps, & occasionally has the opportunity to speak at a weekend service.

This past Sunday was one of those opportunities for him to speak to adults. I thought I'd share it with all of you...

Challenged

2011-07-27T00:49:00.000-04:00

It has been quiet around here. Part of this is due to the fact that our schedule became a little crazy. But in all honestly, I've just had a lot on my mind and have not been able to put my thoughts into words.

I've been up late, reading books, reading blogs, & being challenged by my role living in the US to the millions of poor neighbors around the world.

I know it may be easy for you to skip over this topic. It was and still is way easier for me to choose not to read a blog post or a statistic or a book because it bothers me. But then I remember, I must read, I must educate myself, & I must take action in my own life to help the orphans around the world.

I came across Heather Hendricks blog Sit a Spell a few months ago. I cannot stop reading it. She has challenged me in so many ways. I wanted to share a post she wrote last fall about this topic. Close the door, grab the tissue box, but please, please do not choose not to read this because it may be too difficult. Millions of orphans around the world are begging to be heard. Begging for a voice. Begging for an American to care.

Reality is a Weighty Thing
By Heather Hendricks
A friend recently said to me, "When your blog gets quiet, I start to worry."

It's true.

When nothing gets posted it always means things are such a mess that there's no way to capture all the words and emotions to make sense of them.

At this point I'm still not sure I'm able to sort through what I've seen and put it into words that mean something.

Remember the four week old baby whose mother died?

Remember how she was offered to us? We were asked if we wanted her?

Remember how I said we cried over her and then sent her back to the orphanage?

An orphanage we had never seen.

Part of coming to Haiti for us is facing the orphan crisis in this country and hopefully in this world. We'll also admit that we're big wienies who don't like to face this stuff alone, so we are making you face it with us.

The moment a woman at your gate hands you her baby and begs you to take her is the moment when there's no more pretending. We had spent most of our life trying to insulate ourselves from pain, honesty and suffering while living in the US. When someone hands you a four week old baby and says, "Do you want her?" all that padding and insulation suddenly falls apart. The surround sound airbags explode, and the substance you're left with is cold, hard, and uncomfortable.

There is nowhere to hide. There is no buffering this much tragedy.

Reality sits in your lap and it's heavy.

As painful as reality is, we are tired of lying to ourselves.

One reason we came to Haiti was to face the truth. See it with our eyes. Hold it in our hands. Quit denying sadness on this scale is real.

When you look at the amount of suffering in our world, count up the number of orphans rotting away in crummy orphanages, and consider how poor the majority of people are on this earth, as a whole, I think we can all admit...the response from American Christians and the American church is ridiculous and embarrassing.

We live in Haiti right now, trying to learn how to fight these things, but let's never ever forget that just one year ago we were living in the US in a fancy house in a fancy neighborhood living the American dream ignoring the poor, the oppressed, and the orphan.

I don't think any of us want to be heartless jerks. I think we love this world and our stuff too much, but I think many believers long to be free from such bondage. I think it's easy to ignore the orphan and the poor because we don't have to face it. Maybe we don't want to face it. It's ironic how global our world has become, and yet it's still incredibly easy to shield ourselves from what is going on around the world when it comes to orphans, the poor, and the oppressed.

If each of us had to hold that four week old baby in our arms...a true orphan...truly in distress...if we had to look her in the eyes and then reject her, I don't think many Christians would do that. I think all the excuses we have for not adopting, or not giving would suddenly seem insane.

Yes, God needs to soften our hearts toward the poor and the orphan. He needs to do a lot of work in our souls, teaching us what it looks like to live for the Kingdom of God. I think we can all agree on this.

But I believe we also must do whatever it takes to come face to face with truth...with reality and what that looks like for millions of people living in devastating poverty and the vast number of fatherless children who are living in terrible conditions.

Truth seekers. Are we seeking the truth? Yes, the truth can be found in thick, old, theology books. It can be found in the Bible. But truth is also found in a smelly, dirt-floor orphanage in a third world country. Finding truth in the Bible and in world-famous theology books is a lot easier to find, I think. I've been guilty of only seeking after the truth that is convenient to find. Truth that is fun to argue with all my smart friends over coffee.

The kind of truth I found this week is so troubling, I hardly want to talk about it. And yet, I believe we are to be people who rejoice in the truth...who look for it and deal with it, who expect goodness and grace to radiate and Jesus to be found and glorified even in the darkest of situations.

We sent that baby back to the orphanage a few weeks ago.

Honestly, it took me a couple weeks to recover from such a rough weekend. Two babies were offered to us within three days. It was tragic. Did anyone prepare us for this before coming to Haiti? No. Could anyone prepare us for something like this? No.

Did we feel ready to take these kids in and raise them as our own? No. For lots of reasons, no. Some good, right reasons. Some selfish and faithless reasons.

So we cried a lot and sent both babies away.

For the four week old baby whose mother died that we sent back to the orphanage...well, the only way I coped was to imagine her in a nice place. We were not ready to take in a baby here, but when I thought of her, I'd think of her in a cute little orphanage with loving nannies. Her needs were met in my imagination. She was loved. She was being well cared for in the imaginary world I had prepared for her.

I knew I wasn't going to be able to do this for long...lie to myself. We came to Haiti to stop lying to ourselves.

We knew we were going to have to face this...all the way face it.

We had to go out to the orphanage and see where she is living with our own eyes. We had to know what saying "No, we can't take you" meant to this child.

Saying "No" in Haiti is never neutral. In the States, saying "No" can be neutral at times. In the States if I said, "No" to a four week old baby whose mother died at birth, someone else would snatch that baby up and raise her. The chances of her being adopted by a loving, excited couple would be pretty high.

Saying "No" to a baby in Haiti means there is a huge possibility that you are dooming her to a life filled with sickness, attachment disorders, abuse, neglect and inescapable poverty.

I did not want to go to the orphanage where this baby is living. I did not want to see the truth. You can judge me if you want to and wonder why on earth we didn't say yes to this kid if we love adoption as much as we say we do. You could judge me, or you could admit that you don't live in Haiti. You have no idea how hard this is or how complex adoption is in this country. You could judge me, or you could be honest...unless you're holding a baby from a place like Haiti or Uganda or Ethiopia or Russia in your arms right now, you too are saying no. If you're pretending that kids aren't suffering every single day in orphanages, then we're in the same boat. My boat is just a little further from the US at the moment.

Somehow God gave us the strength to get in the car and drive towards the truth...to find this baby and see for ourselves where she was.

I needed to face it...all of it...every ounce of it. I held this baby in my own home and said, "I don't know how to do this right now." I also needed to go see where saying those things to that child landed her. Until I had faced every speck of this situation, I felt like I was still hiding. I was still in denial.

So we went.

I was nervous all the way out to the orphanage.

It was very far away in the middle of nowhere. A typical Haitian orphanage. This one is run by a Haitian couple who thankfully love the Lord and genuinely love the kids in their care. They are trying their very best. Sadly their best is still not enough. That's the story of Haiti. No matter how much this couples tries, with the limited resources they have, it will never be enough to adequately provide even the basics for these kids.

No running water. Very few toys. No swing set or slide. Nothing but dirt and kids.

We found the baby girl on the floor in a room by herself. She was covered in spit up. Her diaper weighed about as much as she did. She had her fingers in her mouth, trying to soothe herself as tears ran from her little eyes down her cheeks.

I'm going to tell you more of her story and what we've been up to this week to try and help her.

Thankfully an American couple here in Haiti is working hard to come alongside this Haitian couple, offering relief and support. We want to be clear that a lot of good things are starting to happen at this particular orphanage, but we want to be just as clear that there is a lot left to do.

But for now this story must pause. It must.

I believe we all need to sit with these images for awhile.

We found 43 kids in this rundown orphanage. 43 breathing statistics.

A couple of them may be adopted soon.

The vast majority of these kids have no one coming for them. No one writing a blog post about them. No one sending emotional, "I'm a wreck, pray for me" emails about them to their friends and family.

The truth is, there are many, many more orphanages in Haiti with countless kids sitting in them who are unloved and unwanted. The streets are filled with kids just like these with no one to care for them. They are Vulnerable. Hurting. Alone.

While many American churches are worrying about the lighting on their stage, or fussing over the displays in their foyer, children are suffering in orphanages, groaning...aching...for someone to come redeem their lives.

This is the truth.

These are the pictures of truth.

I pray seeing the truth will set us free.

Free from excuses.

When you look into a child's dirty face, hold them in your arms and realize "If I leave this kid here like this, no one else is coming. There is no plan B. If I punt this one, no one is gonna pick up the ball and run with it" everything changes. "I'm not called to adopt" or "I have every right to spend most of my money on myself" seems beyond stupid.

I pray that seeing the truth changes us. I pray it causes our excuses to look silly and lame.

The reality is there are kids just like this baby girl all over Haiti who either need to be adopted, or need to be cared for in Haiti better. This will either take opening up our homes, moving to Haiti, or rearranging our lives in order to fund better care for these kids.

I want us to hurt over the truth today, but I also hope we can get excited.

Ministry to the least of these...to orphans in distress...that's pure religion. There's never any fault in it. You never have to worry if asking God how you should help the orphan is the right thing. God says it's always right. It's without fault. Tricky? Yes. Hard? Absolutely. Should we face it, be honest, and let faces like this keep us awake at night asking God what He wants us to do to live out the gospel towards these kids? Without a doubt.

Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know and holds us responsible to act... Proverbs 24:12

Can I just suggest that maybe God wants to use your life to write a bigger, more beautiful story than the one you're living right now? It might be a story filled with drastic life change, or suffering, or sacrifice, but it will be a lovely story of rescue, love, sanctification, redemption, and ultimately God's glory.

We all know those are the best stories, don't we? Those are the stories that will be told over and over and over in heaven.

Anniversaries, Family, Chefs, Pasta, and Shrimp...they all go together, really.

2011-07-12T23:09:00.002-04:00

1 year and a few months ago, Joel's parents celebrated their 40th Wedding Anniversary. We lived in Chicago. They lived 13 hours away in Lancaster. We knew it would be a little difficult to throw them their much deserved party.

So, we decided to hire a couple of chefs to cook them dinner. Except the chefs were busy. Very busy. So busy it took the chefs until tonight to arrive at Joel's parents door and cook them dinner.

These were not just any chefs, these chefs were my sister and her boyfriend.

We heard Joel's parents had a good laugh when they saw these familiar faces at their door tonight when they thought a strange, professional chef was to arrive instead. They even invited them to eat dinner at their table.

Thank you Will & Julie for showing off your great cooking skills tonight!

In case you're curious about the main dish tonight, you'll need to make this recipe. It is pretty close to heaven on earth.

Engagement Scampi

(thank you Eat Live Run)

1.5 tbsp olive oil

2 cloves garlic, minced

about 3/4 pound of large shrimp

1 tbsp chives

1/4 cup white wine

1/2 stick butter, cut into small chunks

1 tbsp lemon juice

pinch of red pepper

1 tbsp chopped parsley

3 slices thick Italian bread, toasted and kept warm in the oven

6 ounces angel hair pasta, cooked (2 ounces per person)

1. heat the olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add the garlic and saute for a few seconds

2. Raise the heat to high and add the shrimp. Toss until seared on all sides and bright pink. Remove shrimp and set aside.

3. Stir in the chives, wine, butter, lemon and red pepper. Boil until the sauce is reduced by half. Stir in the parsley and the shrimp again and heat through.

4. Toss the pasta with a bit more olive oil (to coat) and divide among 3 plates, along with a slice of bread. Put the shrimp on top of the pasta/bread and serve with a lemon wedge.

You'll want to be sure to have your favorite wine nearby to enjoy with this meal.

My New Favorite Breakfast

2011-07-04T08:46:00.000-04:00

I am a little obsessed with this recipe. When I say a little, I mean that I ate an entire pan in less than 24 hours this week. It's bad...dark chocolate has those types of effects on me.

This recipe is adapted by me from a recipe I saw on Eat Live Run. I did my best to make myself feel a little less guilty by making the recipe a little healthier. But, if you're opting for more of a treat and a better taste go ahead and use the oil & white flour!

Banana Chocolate Chip Breakfast Bars

(picture from Eat Live Run)

2 Ripe Bananas mashed in a bowl

1/3 cup all natural (no sugar added) apple sauce

3/4 cup whole wheat flour

2/3 cup dark chocolate chips

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 tsp cinnamon

2 cups quick cooking oats

2/3 cup light brown sugar, packed

Mix all ingredients together and pour into an 8 X 8 pan. Bake at 350 degrees for approximately 25 minutes.

Then, try really hard to not eat the entire pan in one day.

29 More Days of...

2011-07-02T09:52:00.005-04:00

Biking.

Swimming.

Running.

It's starting to become a pretty big piece of our life these days. We're 29 days away from a crazy race called The Pittsburgh Triathlon.

But we're excited.

Excited for the memories.

Excited for the adventure.

But most of all excited to be completing the race to help bring their baby home.

Do you see this sweet couple?

They're waiting. Waiting for their little baby to arrive. Waiting on the court systems to finalize paper work. Waiting for the necessary funds to cover the adoption fee's. And waiting for a sweet birth mom to choose them to help raise her baby.

If you haven't figured it out yet, Joel & I are passionate about adoption. It does not matter to us if that adoption is done through foster care, over sea's or domestically. We believe adoption is a God thing and want to do everything we can to support those going through the adoption process.

That's why we're raising money to help bring their baby home.

Then choose to give up your Starbucks this week or pack your lunch for work or choose a free date night. Choose to give those extra pennies to be part of the McKivigan's journey.

Go HERE to give toward the adoption fee's for their baby. Every penny you give will help Joel & I finish and will help place a little baby in the arms of Josh & Meg.

This Post is for Our Family

2011-06-25T10:48:00.000-04:00

A few pictures from our life the last few weeks....

Summertime Refreshment

2011-06-06T11:40:00.000-04:00

Anyone else having way too fun growing a little garden this year? Living in Chicago, we merely had a shaded patio that we attempted to grow 2 tomato plants. I think we yielded 1.5 tomato's that year.

Living in Pittsburgh we have a mini yard that we have planted with a few seeds. Those seeds have yielded us a few plants of lettuce, green onions, tomato's and herbs. We are a little obsessed with our basil plants and decided to try them in our new favorite summertime beverage: Strawberry Basil Lemonade.

Picture adapted from whatsgabycooking.com

Strawberry Basil Lemonade

Using fresh lemons, water and sugar make home made lemonade or use a frozen lemonade mix and 1/2 the recommended water to create lemonade in your pitcher.

Next, place the following ingredients into your blender:

Approximately 1 lb of strawberries

15-20 leaves of fresh basil

A handful of ice cubes

1/2 cup of your lemonade mixture to help blend the ingredients above

Mix strawberry mixture into the lemonade mixture. Adding a touch of Sprite to your Strawberry Basil Lemonade is optional. Enjoy!!

The Big Nursery Reveal

2011-05-30T18:53:00.001-04:00

Our nursery has been finished for weeks now...so here you go, a run down of our nursery including money we spent on it. A few things you should know first:

This was our most expensive room ever--this was the first room I ever had the opportunity to plan from start to finish. I had LOADS of fun doing it.
I pretty much stole the entire decor idea from Young House Love and Clara's nursery. Thank you Young House Love for your inspiration!
The bedroom is small-8 ft by 10.5 feet. Go ahead, measure it out and compare it to a bedroom in your home. It's small. This was another reason I chose to follow Clara's nursery design. Her room is the exact same size.
It's gender neutral. Because we're foster parents and knew we would have a mere hours between the time we'd receive a phone call about a baby and the time that we'd be parents to that little one, we knew gender neutral was the way to go.

Because we're currently renting, we chose not to change the wall color or rip out the carpeting to expose the hardwood floors, but you better believe me, I would have loved to!

Enough of the pre-post wording hoopla, now to the fun part: Pictures!

We chose a pretty basic green, brown, and white color palette. We wanted to make sure everything in the room could be used for babies 1, 2, 3, & 4....and also be transitioned into the next stage with the baby. We should be able to reuse everything until the baby is 12 except for the glider.

The green curtains are actually table cloths found at Wal-mart for $10 each (you can't find fabric cheaper!) and you can read about why we needed to purchase those faux wood shades from Target here.

I had so much fun finding good deals like the rocking chair on Craigslist for $40 or the ottoman found at the thrift store for $10 transformed by spray paint as seen here. The ottomon works perfectly as a foot rest and a storage spot for our little one's toys.

In the end, we were a little excited about the radiator taking up so much space, because it is the perfect spot for books.

I loved redoing the baby dresser I found on Craigslist for $70. The basket found on clearance from Michael's is the perfect spot to place all of those diaper changing essentials and the lamp is perfect for all of those 3 am wake-ups.

One of my favorite parts about the dresser? The knobs.

Not bad for $1 each at Michael's!

What do you do when you want specific sayings on posters? Make your own! You can find instructions for how I made the posters pictured above here.

I love that it will always be really easy to make new sayings if I am ever bored with these.

Every child's room needs a few hooks on the back of the door to place the pj's, jacket's, and sun hat. I could not pass up the deal I found for these brand new hooks at the thrift store.

I love our practically brand new $400 crib found on Craigslist for $100. Not only does it work well as a crib, but it will transition with our baby as he grows and needs a toddler bed then a twin size bed. I found the bedding for just $14 at Target on clearance. The mobile was given to us and we DIY'd the mirror above the crib.

The photo collage is just extra scrapbook paper that we lined the drawers with (shown below) as seen here.

Can anything be cuter than baby shoes?

I know all of you are wondering....so, how much did it cost?

The Baby Room Budget Breakdown:

Crib and Mattress-$100 from Craigslist
Bedding-$14 on clearance from Target (original price $65)
DIY Mirror Supplies: $10
Dresser: $70 from Craigslist. Paint from Home Depot and knobs from Michael's totalled $22
DIY drawer cover project: $3
White Lamp: $6 thrift store find Lamp Shade purchased for $8 from Target on clearance
Basket: $5 on clearance from Michael's
Basket Hamper: $10 from thrift store, $3 can of spray paint to paint it
Shelves purchased from Target from a gift card
ABC blocks: after Christmas clearance buy from our grocery store: $2.50
Bamboo plant, "friends forever" plaque, book, and toy-already owned
White Ceramic Pig $1 from the thrift store
A to Z book ends: $8 thrift store
Rocking Chair: $40 from Craigslist
Ottomon: $10 from thrift store-can of spray paint $3
Curtains: $20 from Walmart
Curtain Rods: $15 from the Dollar Store
Faux Wood Blinds: $20
Poster Prints: $15 each, totalling $45
FAMILY hooks: $8 from thrift store
Frames: Christmas gift-ok, I know this was the biggest expense, but I promise this my only Christmas gift this year from Joel...NOTHING else! Not even my annual pair of Christmas PJ's. But if you have to know, frames came to about $130

Total comes to $298...if you count the frames, total comes to $428 (but I think it's unfair to count the frames because it's all I got for Christmas!).

Not too bad considering Young House Love spent $717 on their nursery and had their crib given to them & they're the decor budgeteers! Really, not too bad when you consider most people spend $200 for just their crib bedding set!

Now that you have seen our nursery, do you want to know the birth story of our child? It's a special one and it's all written out here.

What We Don't Spend $ On

2011-05-17T22:03:00.001-04:00

In an attempt to let you know that I'm still here in blog land, I'm digging out one of those old, unfinished drafts from months ago! I've spent the night organizing files and pictures on my computer and am pretty sure I have 20 posts just waiting to be published (including that nursery reveal coming soon!) Until then, go ahead and waste a few minutes of your life reading about a few things we don't spend our money on:

1. Shampoo, Body wash, Conditioner, toothpaste, floss, and deodorant (thank you CVS!)
2. Bottled Water or drinks at a restaurant (thank you tap water and reusable water bottles)
3. Car Payments (all of our cars have been given to us and we plan to buy all future cars in cash)
4. Cable or Netflix (thank you hulu and redbox)
5. Texting Joel's employer pays for his texting & I use the texting app (it saves us $240/year!)
6. Starbucks (Joel packs his own coffee when he has work meetings there)
7. Green Beans and Tomatoes (my grandparents and my mom graciously cans these for us every year from their garden)
8. Gym memberships (we both like running which is practically free)
9. Interest we have zero debt
10. Magazine Subscriptions who needs to pay for them when companies offer them for free!
11. Lunch Out We are brown baggers...or reusable lunch container packers--we try to be green!

Thank You

2011-05-12T10:07:00.000-04:00

I had SO much fun reading all of the comments from Money Saving Mom readers. Thank you for your kind words, encouragement, and sweet thoughts. I will try to respond to your comments, but I can't make any promises that I'll get to all of you!

If you're new to my blog, welcome!! I promise you that I won't bore you too much as I don't post very often! I am really good at having a bunch of unfinished posts that never get published. Anyone else like that?

Stay tuned for our big nursery reveal (complete with how much we spent)coming sometime in the next few days....

Sharing Mother's Day

2011-05-08T07:00:00.002-04:00

Yesterday a first happened: I received my first Mother's Day card. It made me feel a little old, but I couldn't help but smile as I read the words inside. Am I really old enough to be receiving one of these cards now?

As the days approached for Mother's Day, I couldn't help but think that my mother's days will always look very different for me than most other mom's. Mother's Day will probably never be just about me for our children. Mother's day will be about "us". I will always be sharing the day with another mom who gave birth to one of my children.

Today, I'll be thankful. Thankful that another mom is out there hopefully celebrating this day as much as I am. Thankful that we get to celebrate over the same baby boy who brings both of us a lot of laughter. Thankful that she chose life for this baby and thankful that both of us have the opportunity to love him.

We've never met. We probably never will. Both of us have no idea who will keep this baby forever, but I hope we both have plans of respecting and loving each other and teaching "our" baby to do the same.

Happy Mother's Day to our foster baby's Birth Mom. I know you will probably never read this, but I hope this day brings you a lot of joy and I hope your role as a mom does not go unnoticed today. Thank you for choosing life for this little man. Thank you for enduring a hard labor to bring him into this world. I promise you that as long as he is in this house, we will teach him to love, honor, & respect you. You have given him the most precious gift any mother could give-the gift of life. Because of that, our family is celebrating you today too!

Triathlon 2011

2011-04-15T23:47:00.000-04:00

It's coming...way too fast....Pittsburgh Triathlon 2011...and we already invested way too much money in it to back out of it now!! We're still not sure how April came along so quickly and we honestly thought there were 4 months between May and August for training. We really thought 13 months existed in 2011 for some reason. We freaked out for just a minute this week when our triathlon training guide read 16 weeks when we were just 14 away from race day.

I'm not gonna lie...I'm scared silly about this one (probably way more scared than the marathon), but if running the Chicago marathon in 2009 taught me anything--it was that I'm capable of just about anything I set my mind to.

I don't know how to swim. I really don't & Joel says he knows how to swim and he's better than me, but really, old ladies lap us in the pool without a problem. Our bikes are crappy and we don't plan on replacing them anytime soon.

We have a baby. I own a company and Joel is in ministry. We don't own a jogging stroller or a raft or a bike seat for our baby. We do not even have a sitter for our kid. We really have no idea how we're going to accomplish this race or even train for it, but we will. Somehow in some miraculous way, we'll cross that finish line and we'll be thrilled just for finishing.

On July 31st, we'll be running 6.2 miles, swimming 1 mile, & biking 30 miles. I'll probably be the girl doing the doggy paddle in the river on race day while everyone in the crowd laughs at me, but you can bet that I'll be finishing the race, even if it's last place because I'm all about the journey that will bring me to the finish line that the time that the clock will read.

Pittsburgh triathlon 2011, we're totally not ready for you, but totally excited for the challenges you will bring to us and lessons you will teach us this summer!

What I'll Spend to Help Me Sleep In

2011-04-14T11:45:00.000-04:00

We've been spoiled silly to have lots of house guests, lots of work, and lots of sick germs floating around this place the last few weeks. I think life has slowed down and returned back to normal. Normal enough to give me a few minutes to give you a few updates of our home.

We learned a hard lesson when the clocks changed a few weeks ago, that our little baby thought he was suppose to wake up when the sun rose. This required a change for his windows in his room almost immediately!

When our sweet little man started waking up at 7am (I know, most of you moms out there are wishing your kid slept till 7) we rushed off to Target and were required to buy the more expensive blinds because of the size of the windows. I was relieved I didn't have to talk Joel into buying the expensive ones purely based on the way it looked. It would have been a tough argument to win!

I realize I said more expensive, but really, they were just $12/each which in the grand scheme of things isn't a bad price! I'll spend $24 any day to help me sleep in an hour later everyday!

Spray Paint Season

2011-03-22T11:59:00.000-04:00

Last week marked the first day of spraying paint season around here!! We haven't been blessed with a garage or a basement yet where I can spray paint all winter long, so until then, I store up lots of treasures from the thrift store until the weather goes above 55 to hop outside and paint.

Last Thursday was one of those days. Sunny and 70...it was gorgeous. Baby and I made a trip to Home Depot to pick up some paint, then I got to work painting while he napped. We really only tackled 2 projects, but they are pretty important projects to help make the baby room match a little better.

You may remember my post here about these items?

Before

After

(it matches the small brown basket on the changing table!)

Before

After

Nice change for just a $4 can of espresso spray paint, right?

He is Graduated!!!!

2011-03-20T17:10:00.000-04:00

This week a fun little package came in the mail...Joel's diploma!!! Joel finished classes for his Master's of Divinity last July, but technically did not graduate until December.

I am super proud of my man for receiving a Master's of Divinity from a pretty tough academic school in just 2 years. This is a program that takes most students 3-4 years and consists of a bunch of language classes such as Greek and Hebrew. It's not a program for the weak at heart.

Joel,

I am probably the only person who will ever know how hard you worked to receive this degree.

You sacrificed hours of sleep to study.

You always had dinner on the table for me when I arrived home from work.

You woke up before the sun rose most days to exercise, spend time with Jesus, & study, all before making it to your 7:30 am classes.

You put up with a cranky wife most days and always put me before your homework to give me a hug and dry my tears after I had a rough day.

You worked hard at your job. Typically, 30 hours a week while taking a minimum of 18 grad school credits year round. You poured into many students lives and worked harder than anyone will ever know.

You even trained and ran a full marathon in the midst of this crazy season.

You regularly helped clean our home, wash our laundry, and shop for our groceries.

I watched you balance everything life threw at you while you were in school and was amazed.

Even when we're old and grey, you can be sure that I'll still be bragging about how well you finished your M.Div. Congratulations! I cannot wait to post this special degree in our home for years to come.

-your proud wife

He even graduated with honors!!!!

Now to find a spot for it on our "bragging" wall...

Bretzel Rolls

2011-03-16T14:34:00.000-04:00

Hungry for some dinner rolls that are amazing? They literally taste like a soft pretzel. We've never had a guest eat just one....in fact, my dad, who is on a low carb diet ate 4 the other night.

Place ingredients listed below into a bread maker:

1 and 1/3 cups warm water
2 Tablespoons warm milk
2 and 1/3 teaspoons active dry yeast
1/3 cup light brown sugar
2 Tablespoons butter, melted
4 cups all purpose flour

After running the dough cycle on your bread maker. Take out dough and cut into 12 even pieces shaped into rolls or form knots and arrange on a lightly floured surface about 1 inch apart and covered in plastic wrap. Let the pretzels rise.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

In a large stockpot, bring 2 quarts cold water to a rolling boil. Add 1/2 cup baking soda. Drop rolls into the boiling water and boil for no more than 30 seconds, turning once. Remove with a slotted spoon. Sprinkle rolls with kosher salt or pretzel salt. Arrange rolls on baking sheet and bake for 8-10 minutes or until browned. Serve warm or at room temperature. Enjoy!

Finding Their Home

2011-03-13T21:26:00.000-04:00

All of my little thrift store finds have found their home in our baby room.

I am totally convinced that I have world's greatest husband who spends his evenings helping me with all of my silly projects that I really should be able to do on my own!

Some of my projects (like this one) are no fun for him at all.

I usually stay away from cheesy signs that say things like "family" on them, but I was ok with this one because I needed door hooks & want our baby to be reminded that he is a part of our family.

A to Z book stands. Someday I'll paint these brown or green

An ottoman that has been perfect for extra storage...someday soon this will be painted too!

A laundry basket that will be painted as well to match the small brown basket on the changing table.

Thrifting with the Baby and for the Baby

2011-03-11T10:17:00.000-05:00

Took our little baby to the thrift store for the first time Wednesday. Not sure he's in love with the place yet, but hopefully soon will be!

I spent more than usual, but was happy to find a bunch of items that I have been looking to purchase and waiting to arrive at the thrift store. Typically I only purchase items that are 50% off unless the item is on my "to buy" list. Turns out, most of the items were on my to buy list, so I splurged!
Here's what I purchased....

...and an explanation of the items:

Round Laundry Basket ($10)-this is for the baby room. I have been waiting for one of these to show up in the thrift store for 6 months!! I love round laundry baskets with lids and even considered purchasing a new one at Marshall's for $40 a few weeks ago. I was starting to think one would never show up in the thrift store. I'm so glad I waited just a little longer! I hope to spray paint this basket a darker brown this spring to match other items in the room.

Square Basket ($10)-this will be an ottoman/toy storage for the baby room. This too will be spray painted a darker brown this spring, but works for now.

Family Hooks ($6)-I have wanted hooks to place on the back of the baby room door to hang pj's and winter coats. This wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but I'm happy I found it. Not sure if I'll keep the hooks brown or spray paint them green.

A-Z Book Ends ($6)-The boxes I originally purchased at Marshall's just aren't working out for us. I hesitated from buying book ends like these because sharp edges are just not smart in a baby room. Right now they'll work for the space and as baby grows, we can make changes. These book ends were $45 new, so I figured the $6 was worth it for bookends we can always place in another room someday. I hope to spray paint these brown or green soon.

Grinch Board Book ($1)-Joel loves this book and it was in like new condition. Not bad if you think that it sells for $7 at Barnes & Noble.

Baby Clothes ($1-$1.50)- I was a little shocked yesterday when baby and I went to the mall and I learned the price of baby clothes new. $16 for a pair of shorts at Old Navy seems a little crazy to me! I want to be sure to start collecting some summer clothes early for him at the thrift store.

When the economy hurts you

2011-03-10T07:48:00.001-05:00

This post is mostly intended for people who do not know us. It's a little blunt about our financial situation over the last year, but wanted to write it because I read a lot of coupon/money saving blogs and wanted to share our journey with money.

I have always been a frugal gal. I paid for my own things at a very early age and worked hard throughout high school to save money for college. Sometimes even working 40 hours in one weekend as a high schooler.

It should not have surprised me, that I would end up falling in love with a hard working guy even more frugal than myself.

We were married at age 21 and both graduated with bachelors degrees at age 22 DEBT FREE.

We scraped together our pennies (all $30,000 of them) and put a 20% down payment on a condo in the Chicago area in 2008 at the age of 22. We knew we would be in the area for a few years and our monthly mortgage payment was a little cheaper than our rent would have been. We were excited at the prospect of selling our condo in 3-5 years as the property increased in value. Everyone told us this was one of the best investments we could make.

I took a job outside of my field of social work as a nanny to help pay the bills while my husband attended grad school. We continued paying every bill in cash. We kept a very strict budget: $18 a month on dates, $5 a week on clothing and decorating. We couponed like crazy. We were known as craigslist fanatics and we're proud of it!

People were incredibly generous to us. Our 1986 Dodge Daytona broke down and a lady who hardly knew us handed us a $5,000 check to replace our car. A family from our church offered to pay for all of Joel's school books. Joel's parents graciously handed us a check every semester to help pay for school and paid our cell phone bills every month. We didn't pay for everything on our own, words can't describe the gratitude we have for the people who helped us. But, if we hadn't budgeted the money given to us, it would have been extremely easy to just waste any money we had.

Joel graduated from grad school last summer, debt free. He completed a 3-4 year grad program in just two years while working 30 hours a week and graduated with honors. Yep, I'm very proud of my man for doing this! Because we take our budget spreadsheets very seriously, we paid everything in cash and saved an additional $10,000 during grad school. I was working as a nanny. My family paid me well, but let's be honest, we weren't making a 6 figure income or anything!

A few years ago, we thought we'd be reaping the benefits of our hard work right now. We thought we'd have at least a $40,000 down payment for our next home and be completely debt free at the age of 25.

We needed to move across the country last summer because of my husband's job situation. Except, the economy was not on our side. Our condo association recently changed their rules to not allow renters into the building, so anyone who must move is forced to sell. In addition to the housing market, this drove the prices of condo's in our Chicago neighborhood extremely low.

After 4 months of sitting on the market and another 4 months under contract, our condo sold a few weeks ago for 60% less than what we paid 2.5 years ago. We lost our $30,000 down payment, a few thousand we placed into renovations, and a few thousand on mortgage payments we paid while living in our new city. We are still waiting to see what type of hit a short sale will have on our perfect credit score.

We often wish we would not have purchased our condo. At the time, we made the best decision we could make. We did everything the books tell you to do: 20% down payment, pay all bills in cash, etc. No one planned for the housing market to take a turn like it did. Unfortunately, the economy hurt us, a lot.

Even though we have literally lost 18 months of my full-time pay check (Yep, heartbreaking looking at it that way!) Because of our strict budget, we are still much farther ahead financially than most 25 year olds our age. We consider ourselves blessed.

We know how to enjoy life without a daily trip to Starbucks, new cars, and cable. We save a small portion of each pay check for retirement and have a blast on our free date nights. We make a hobby of couponing, shopping clearance racks and thrift stores, and we know how to appreciate a good Craigslist find. We never buy anything we cannot afford and always give a portion of our money away.

Because of the economy, we get to practice a few more years of frugal living while we save up for yet another down payment for a house. When I say a few more years of frugal living, I mean a lifetime. I really don't think you can take frugality out of us. It's just not possible.

Baby Room Posters

2011-03-08T14:27:00.000-05:00

Do you remember my post about poster inspiration found here? We really needed to fill these empty frames, so we got to work this weekend.

2 are finished. I just came back from Staples and realized I printed them too small. We'll just keep that a secret between you and me. I don't think our guests will notice and our little baby probably doesn't care. I really should have had them printed larger so that there would not be an almost hidden 1/8" gap at the bottom of the poster & to make the words fill the frame size.

We carried through the colors of the room-brown, white and green. We wanted the frames to coordinate the smaller frames found here that coordinate with the drawers. One of my favorite children's books is Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney. We stole this phrase from the last line in the book.

Poster 2 was taken from a popular children's song that I have always loved.

How did we create these? Gimp. It's a free program similar to photo shop that we use frequently! They really did not take much time and we played around with the texture tool that I've never used before to add a little extra love to these posters.

Poster 3 will soon be finished and then we can show you the final reveal of this nursery and let you know how much the entire room costs us.

2011-03-04T11:16:00.000-05:00

I promise, this blog will NOT turn into a mommy or a baby blog, BUT I've been doing a lot of baby/mommy shopping lately and it always helps me to know what other people buy, so wanted to share a few of my purchases with you.

I had the privilege of nannying for four families with babies. I was spoiled silly to "test" out lots of baby and mom gear before I made purchases for myself. Below I've listed a few things I've placed in my shopping cart the last few weeks:

Skip Hop Studio Diaper Tote Bag

I adore the color brown, love the 14 pockets for perfect organization, and love that it does not look like your typical diaper bag. It's not cheap. I walked the purse aisle at our thrift store many times before finally purchasing this bag new with money my mom gave me. SO thank you Mom for making it possible for me to have my dream diaper bag!!!

Avent Born Free Bottles

I don't know why, but Avent Born Free bottles are my favorite. They're not super fun to clean as they have a few extra pieces to them. I love having the ounces written on the side and the sturdiness of the bottle. I was able to score these buy one, get one 1/2 off at Babies r Us last week. I purchased a total of 4 bottles realizing that we really only needed 1-2, but really appreciate having a couple extra's.

Mei Tai Baby Carrier

One of the families I nannied for had this baby carrier and I LOVED it. I could wear it for hours without feeling the weight of the child. This lasted until the little girl was 2.5 years old. You can wear it on your front or back side. I would NEVER buy a Baby Bjorn because they hurt your back by the time the child weighs 14 lbs. I love that the fabric washes easily. They retail for close to $80, but I found one on ebay for $30! I love that they have a removable fabric insert that you can replace to update the style of your carrier over the years.

JJ Cole Sling Style Backpack Diaper Bag

Because Joel doesn't like carrying a purse style diaper bag, I found one for him on ebay for $18 that is actually solid black. It will be perfect for quick trips outside when I don't feel like lugging my huge one around! This bag has compartments for everything. Currently it has a formula canister, bottle, 2 board books, changing pad, 1 diaper, wipes container, bib, & 3 toys...and it still has room!

Bum Genius Reusable Diapers

I took the plunge and bought our little guy a bunch of these. I'm so excited to save money on diapers & be a little bit more green around here.

And just for fun, I picked up our little guy a Sophie giraffe. I had to convince Joel that it was worth it because all the cool babies have one AND we had received a gift card from a friend. I had to buy something fun with a gift card!

AND on my wish list yet to buy is a jogging stroller....a few options I'm considering depending upon the deals I find on craigslist....we will still be completing that triathlon this summer, so this baby will just become a part of our training.

The Luxury Option: Valco Jogging Stroller

Another Luxury Option: BOB Jogging Stroller

or the budget option...Jeep Jogging Stroller

"Birth" Story of Our Son

2011-02-26T21:43:00.000-05:00

Because our little baby is a foster child, we won't be posting pics of him on our blog. I have tossed around the idea of making this blog private, but have ultimately decided to keep it public and not post pictures of the little guy who has taken over our hearts the last few weeks. BUT, I hope to use this blog as a way to express my emotions in writing on this journey as a foster mom.

Our baby entered our home a couple of weeks ago. Honestly, I cannot begin to tell you how quickly I have become attached to him. I was expecting attachment to be difficult and take a long time. I was expecting parenting to feel a bit unnatural, but cannot begin to tell you how much I have loved every minute of being his mommy.

As a foster mom, the "birth story" of my son looks very different than almost any one of my friend's birth stories. I never had a due date. I did not purchase one pair of maternity clothes. And, never had a food craving I could blame on pregnancy. There was no rushing to the hospital. No labor pains. And no water breaking. There was just a phone call from a case worker asking us if we wanted a little baby.

A caseworker arrived at our home with a beautiful baby boy one morning in February dressed in jeans, a sweater, and a puffy vest. I remember thinking, "I cannot believe how beautiful he is" as I looked inside her car at my son who was riding in the back seat. He came with a couple of boxes of clothing, a few bottles, and 1/2 a container of formula and a couple of brief feeding instructions. She hardly knew anything about his background, scanned paperwork frantically to even find his birthdate, and left within a half hour saying "congratulations on your new baby!". I'll be honest, it felt a little weird at the time, but both Joel & I had waited for years for this day to come, so any awkwardness was overcome with excitement.

Within an hour of his arrival, we fed him his bottle and rushed him to the doctor for a routine visit and tried filling out the mountains of paperwork based upon the minimal amounts of information we knew about his past. He fell asleep in my arms wrapped in a fuzzy blanket as we chatted with the pediatrician. The entire visit I couldn't help but think, "what do these people think of us?". We know nothing about this little guy--not even his middle name--and we don't even have a diaper bag for him or burp rags to clean up his spit up. They must think we're incredibly irresponsible parents! After leaving the doctor, we headed to Target to pick up a few baby essentials, including the burp rags! Joel managed to work several hours in the midst of the chaotic day. He even made dinner for us that night. We were able to get our little guy to sleep by 9, only to be woken up 15-20 times during the night. No matter how perfect our home seemed to be for a little baby, everything was all new to him. The bed, the sounds, the lights, even a new mom and dad.

The next few days were a blur. Foster children come with a lot of appointments and Joel was working 10-14 hour days and I was trying to work 8 hour days while running this little guy to all of his appointments and making sure we had everything we needed to care for a little baby. Not only were we running frantically by day and not sleeping at night, we were also trying to process a lot of emotions that come with learning about your foster child's past.

Joel headed off to an already scheduled church retreat for the weekend while I fed myself with protein bars and tried to make our new baby feel peace in his new home. The poor guy had just been whisked away from anything that felt "normal" to him and no matter how hard I tried to make him comfortable, he just wasn't.

Thankfully the transition lasted just one week & since then we have all been adjusting very well. We have eaten many meals that did not consist of a protein bar and our baby has a schedule & is now almost sleeping through the night for us. All of his actions show he is very happy to call our place home.

We're not sure how long we'll have have our baby in our home. Could be a few months....could be forever. We are pre-adoptive foster parents, but it will be up to the courts to decide how long he'll be with us. If it was our decision, we'd say forever.

Right now, I'm just so thankful that I get to be the one that he calls "momma". I get to kiss his chubby cheeks and am the one he looks at with longing eyes when I feed him his bottle. It's my hand he holds and my little neck he slobbers on when we take naps together on the couch. I am the mommy he has to calm his cries in the night and the mommy who gets to scrub all the baby dirt out of his ears in his bath. It's my lap he sits on and my hand that catches some of his sneezes and my heart he gets to share.

I like to tell him every day that we have a lot of hugs, cuddles, and kisses to catch up on from the time we were apart. He seems to agree.

How We Looked in 2010

2011-02-26T16:57:00.000-05:00

As mentioned a couple of weeks ago, Joel's dad spent an afternoon while we were "home" over Christmas taking hundreds of pictures of us. We begged him to do this after we realized we had literally taken 0 couple shots in all of 2010...here are a few of our favorites.

I think it may be time for another photo shoot now that we've added a baby to our family :)

A Trip Down Memory Lane

2011-02-25T15:02:00.003-05:00

Today was bittersweet...our condo in Chicago sold. We're thrilled. We've waited and waited and waited for this place to sell for months. We're really happy to no longer to be paying to live in Chicago and Pittsburgh. BUT, we LOVED this home. We made so many wonderful memories here and miss it frequently. All of our "stuff" just seemed to fit perfectly inside all 850 sq. feet of this place. I really think this place captivates us: the colors, the decor, & the open layout. Could the hard wood floors be any more beautiful? Let's not forget the sweat and tears that were placed into redoing the bathroom, installing a dishwasher, & installing the kitchen counter top. You know the time you lived in a home was really good by how much you miss it after you leave, right? For memories sake, here are the pictures that were taken before placing our condo on the market 10 months ago.

Sweet little condo, you will always be missed by us.

A Cleaning Update

2011-02-24T15:40:00.001-05:00

Almost one year ago, I posted about ways we are "Greening Our Home". After reading over this post a few weeks ago, I realized it deserved an update! Here's how we roll green around here:

1. Vacuum with our Dyson. I realize this isn't "green", but it doesn't use vacuum bags, so we're not wasting anything except a grocery bag we dump the dirt into when we're done. I LOVE Dyson's and recommend them for everyone. We purchased this canister vacuum a few years ago and it was perfect for our condo with hardwood floors. Our current place has a lot of carpet & if I could, I'd probably replace this guy with an upright vacuum. It's just not as easy to roll around on carpet. BUT, still does a perfect job at picking up all of the dirt in our home.

2. Steam Mop- This mop really deserves her own post I like her so much. I did a lot of research and opted for the Eureka Enviro Steamer because the reviews were really good, the price was right, and the water is heated hot enough to actually disinfect. Good bye Swifter and expensive refills and streaky floors and strong smells after mopping. One of my biggest reasons for buying a steam mop was because I knew eventually we'd have a baby crawling on the floor & currently have a Kitty. I did not want either one breathing in the chemicals. I love how this steam mop picks up that disgusting kitchen floor gunk without any scraping. My only complaint about the floor mop would be the reusable cloths shrink very easily even when washing on the cold cycle.

But seriously, I have such strong love feelings for my steam mop that I feel bad for anyone who does not own one. If you don't have one, seriously, save those pennies and buy one soon! The floors also dry super quickly because the steam is hot. Within a few minutes you can walk on your mopped floors without needing to change your socks.

3. Glass cleaner-I am currently using the Method brand. I like the minty smell it leaves & it is nice to have one cleaner that is not home made.

4. All purpose cleaner-I mix 1/2 vinegar and 1/2 water and use this spray throughout my kitchen and bathroom.

5. Toilet Bowl Cleaner-I pour baking soda, then vinegar into the toilet, then brush & flush.

6. Essential Oils-Nate and Joanna totally spoiled me this year for Christmas with essential oils that I mix into my home made all purpose cleaner to take away the vinegar smell. I love these!

7. Home made Laundry Detergent-You can see my recipe here. I use all natural bar soap from Trader Joe's, washing soda, baking soda, & borax. I realize Dial is posted in the pic below, but I've switched to Trader Joe's soap since this picture was taken.

8. Microfiber clothes- I picked two 4 packs of these up at Marshall's & totally love them. Waaay cheaper than papertowels and waaay better for the environment....and much easier to wash now that we have our own washer and dryer!

10. Reusable Bags-I realize this is a no brainer, but we take our reusable bags everywhere. I wish Pittsburgh would enforce DC's bag text policy. I think a lot more people would pick up on using reusable bags if they were charged 25 cents for each plastic bag.

11. Recycle-I know, another no brainer, but I feel the need to tell you that we recycle whatever we can around here. It breaks my little heart to know that there are still some people who haven't picked up on recycling. It makes me even more sad when the recycling trash leaves my recyclables for the garbage truck some weeks. Do they not see the huge recycling sticker on my trash can?

This site shares a lot of useful tips to use Vinegar.

Discourage ants by spraying undiluted white distilled vinegar outside doorways and windowsills, around appliances and wherever you find the pests coming in.
Get rid of fruit flies by setting out a small dish of undiluted white distilled vinegar.
Clean and deodorize a drain by pouring in 1 cup baking soda, then one cup hot white distilled vinegar. Let this sit for 5 minutes or so, then run hot water down the drain.

A fun way to clean spills from your carpet--SALT

It's true. We spilled an entire glass of red wine on our carpet last week & we do not own carpet cleaner. Joel dumped a container of salt on top of the spilled wine. The salt turned pink and soaked up every drop of red wine.

So there you go, a little update on our "green" home. I'm pretty sure that 1 year from now we'll have made a lot of improvements, but right now, this is where we're at & we're pretty happy with it.

Dear...

2011-02-18T22:41:00.000-05:00

Dear Blog,

I apologize you're on the back burner these days. There's been a lot of transition in our family and you have been a little neglected. Kitty is feeling the same way lately.

In the last 5 days, Joel & I have worked incredibly long hours, had a baby join our family, made several trips to Target for baby essentials, had a couple foster care related appointments every day, & have been up most of the night, every night. Oh, and did I mention I'm throwing a party for 20 people tomorrow night at our house & Joel's away on business for the weekend? Life's been a bit over scheduled this week.

If it helps any, I miss you too! I miss thrift stores & miss all my other blog world friends and I really miss eating real food. Protein bars for breakfast, lunch, & dinner do get old.

As crazy as life is, we wouldn't trade it for anything. We have completely fallen in love with the little guy who now calls me Mama (or at least what I like to hear as mama when he's practicing his M's). We cannot help but walk into his room every 15 minutes when he's asleep and admire his cuteness. We love to tickle him just to hear his laugh. He has captured our hearts in 3 short days & really as hard as it can be to answer his cries at 3 am, I love the extra few minutes I get to have to cuddle him back to sleep.

Little blog, I promise you won't be neglected forever....

Yours Truly,
-a little stressed, but absolutely loving life right now mommy.

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T09:05:00.001-05:00

Our annual holiday card:

Did you notice that I don't know how to spell "spot" in our blog address? Let's be honest, not everything is exactly in the appropriate month because some months were more exciting than others!

Because Christmas is such a cRaZy time of year, we prefer sending out yearly Valentine's Day Card's. It's only our second year doing this, but we really do hope it will turn into a tradition.

I have Bower Power to thank this year for her creative way of posting one special event every month. Who reads the 1 page letters people send out anyway?!?!

Let's talk about how we made these: first we beg Joel's dad to spend an afternoon taking pictures of us...he always agrees and literally took hundreds of photo's of us that I'll be posting this week. It's funny to see how much we "age" over the years!

Next, I search all over Tiny Print's website to see their adorable Valentine's Day Cards that I could never ever afford.

I remake my own version on gimp (a free program similar to photo shop).

Then, print the cards.

Let's talk about prices. We like to do everything pretty cheap, including our yearly cards. This year we went with postcards because postage is $0.28 compared to $0.44 each. We used vista print because I could receive 100 of their basic postcards for free with an offer they were running. I upgraded sections of the postcard, for example, used matte paper & uploading photo's brought the total to $26. Shipping was $13, but when they arrived, vista print had trimmed off one side of the postcard, so they refunded everything but shipping. They weren't perfect, but they were FREE and I really doubt most people noticed.

Postage to our 50 friends cost us $15.
Joel handed out 25 to his coworkers in person. Total cost of our annual cards: $30.
Not bad for 100 personalized cards considering they would cost us close to $150 if we would have someone else make them!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!

Waiting for DIY

2011-02-13T19:31:00.000-05:00

I hate waiting, but trying really hard to wait for 2 things right now, well 4 if you include a baby and our condo selling, but let's just think about DIY waiting for a minute. I'm waiting for:

Spray Paint Season-I have a bunch of thrift store finds just waiting for a fresh coat of paint and a 60 degree day.
March's Decorating Budget to kick in. I've already exhausted my $35 this month and because Joel let me almost double my decorating budget this year, I'm working hard to respect him by not going over it!

So, let's share a few projects I have plans of completing soon.

How cute are these frames? I purchased the perfect frames at the thrift store several months ago, just need the burlap and the spray paint and a trip to the beach for the photo's!

I love this beer cap lid tray. I have been the crazy hostess at our parties begging all of our guests to save the beer caps. I found the perfect tray for this project last month at the thrift store and am just waiting for a warm day to pull out the spray paint.

Let's be honest, any DIY project that speaks of Chicago has a special place in my heart. I picked up a Chicago map last month and am waiting for the candy hearts to go on clearance Tuesday.

This fun photograph project will actually be my sister's 2010 Christmas gift, just waiting to find the perfect frame at the thrift store. Julie, I promise that I have been looking! It won't be a NY photograph either, but Chicago!! I'm hoping to find 2 frames so that I can make one for myself too. I think it would look perfect in our office hallway.

How cute is this simple "love" piece of art. It's not a high priority project for me, but it's on the back burner for the day that I find the perfect frame at the thrift store.

Books, Babies, Thrift Stores, & Leadership

2011-02-12T09:38:00.002-05:00

We're big readers. Call us dorks, but we take learning very seriously around here. In fact, most evenings we'll pick books over television. I know. I would have been really embarrassed to say any of this 15 years ago, but now, I'm hoping that we'll pass our love for books onto our kids.

Our baby is arriving any day, literally. I rushed to the thrift store this morning to buy the little guy a bunch of books. Then wiped down every book with Clorox wipes and sat them in their new home. Thank you to the thrift store donator who donated like new condition board books this week. My favorite book on that shelf, "Daddy & Me"--yep, I cannot wait to see Joel be a dad.

$1 per book at the thrift store compared to $5-10 new.

Yes, the books really are on top of the radiator. Did I mention the room is 8X10...we have very limited storage options. We're being innovative, right?

The box book stands are temporary. I'm waiting to find large plastic colorful blocks at the thrift store to use as bookends.

Why are we so crazy about books? Because we want to be leaders and leaders must be readers.

Bill Hybels writes, "I have little patience with leaders who get themselves into leadership binds and then confess that they haven't read a leadership book in years. If you're a serious-minded leader, you will read. You will read all you can. You will read when you feel like it, and you will read when you don't. You will do whatever you have to do to increase your leadership input, because you know as well as I do that it will make you better."

This, my friends, is why we have bookshelves full of leadership books in our home & why we are constantly turning the tv off in the evening to read. This is why we have goals of reading 48 books in 2011. We want to learn and we really hope our children will want to learn as well.

Don't just take it from me, take it from Dr. Suess, "the more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go."

The Most Amazing French Toast

2011-02-10T13:20:00.000-05:00

We like our carbs & LOVE our home made bread....especially Challah & when Challah is made into French Toast, it is pretty much perfection!

I confess, that picture is taken from Google Images, but Joel can do an even better job at braiding multiple layers of bread on top of each other. He's a very talented guy. I like to think that he'll do a really good job braiding our daughter's hair someday....

Both recipes are taken from The Test Kitchen Cookbook. If you don't own this cookbook, we highly recommend you RUN to the store and buy it now. It really is a fabulous cookbook.

Ok, back to the Challah--we like to throw all ingredients in our bread maker, select the dough setting, & let our bread maker do the work for us. Because everyone is throwing out their bread maker these days, you can buy one for $5 at a thrift store pretty easily. We use our $5 bread maker at least once a week & Joel keeps begging for a second one just to keep in his office.

Challah

1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon water, warm

4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled

2 large eggs

1 large egg yolk

3 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/4 cup sugar

1 envelope instant or rapid rise yeast

1 1/4 teaspoons salt

After the bread finishes the dough cycle in the bread machine, take it out and braid it if you're having guests. This is a delicious dinner bread plain. If you're not having guests, feel free to just bake the loaf without the braids.

When baked and cooled, slice the bread. Turn the oven to 200 degrees and let the bread "dry" in the oven for 15 minutes.

Whisk together:

6 tablespoons melted butter

1 cup milk

1 large egg

2 tablespoons sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

3/4 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon salt

Then, slowly whisk 1/2 cup all purpose flour into the bowl.

Pour the batter into a large shallow dish. Soak both sides of bread and cook on a hot skillet until golden brown.

Serve with confectioner sugar and maple syrup. Enjoy! Seriously, it is the best French toast. I promise!

Our Week

2011-02-05T13:20:00.000-05:00

Our week has consisted of A LOT of waiting and A LOT of trying to be patient. Can't say I'm succeeding. We've been told our foster baby was to arrive a couple of weeks ago and almost every day we're given the hopeful news that it will be the next day.

In the meantime, while we turn to each other every day and say "i wish our baby was here" we've been organizing like crazy & trying to get a little prepared.

We made lots of progress on the baby closet--this use to be Kitty's closet/office supplies/anything else that did not have a home type of closet. I wish I would have taken a before shot....it looks completely different now!

We're not sure what our little guy is coming with....we're so thankful for friends loaning us baby clothes & for the clearance section at Old Navy! I'm sure we'll be making a mad dash to Target when we receive him to stock up on everything we don't have!

AND Joel planted a garden in our laundry closet this week with a garden light, soil, & seeds. We're excited to wake up to herbs in our apartment some day soon.

Don't judge the clutter in our laundry closet--some of us need to store tools in the laundry closet.

$5 Thrift Store Buffet Redo

2011-01-31T14:39:00.001-05:00

I have really missed not having a buffet type set up like we've had in every other house. Our kitchen table is tiny and can't quite fit 4 people and the food. We have always needed extra food storage at dinner time.

In our first apartment, we stored our dresser in the dining room & loved using it as a place to display the food when guests came. We only had a couple of awkward moments when our guests opened the drawers to find my undies, but overall it worked well!

Our condo had this nice little 1/2 wall that worked nicely as a buffet...you can kinda see it next to the door.

Our current apartment had nothing except counters which just didn't cut it for me!
So I spent several hours on craigslist and was willing to pay $50 for a buffet that I could redo. Until I spotted this $5 beauty at the thrift store.

And gave her a lot of paint one day.

Until she looked like this

Now she stores all of my craft supplies.

Did you notice the paper I mod podged on the bottom? I repeated the steps I did for the baby dresser as shown here.

Cost Breakdown of Project:

Buffet: $5

Paint: used leftover paint from other projects

New Hardware: approx $20

Project How To:

I started by disinfecting this piece like crazy because it was from the thrift store & I disinfect everything I receive from the thrift store. I had Joel remove all hardware. Next, I used an oil based primer. It's messy & not good for the environment, but because this piece was not solid wood, I needed a primer that covered everything. Next, I covered this piece in 3 layers of black paint and waited for it to dry. Finally, I added new hardware.

Let's chat about hardware options for a minute. Hardware is super expensive. Because I knew this item was pretty cheap wood, I wasn't ready to pay much for my hardware. Although, I certainly considered breaking my budget for these knobs from Anthropologie.

or are you kidding me, how perfect is this checker knob? It would have matched my candlesticks perfectly!

but I also did not care to go through all the work of moving the holes and using wood filler on this piece. So I opted for my a few much cheaper options at Home Depot.

Now we have a nice buffet area to place food for our guests. Not too bad for a rookie, right?

I love how it is the perfect spot for the tray I redid a few weeks ago.

Every Room Needs a Lamp

2011-01-28T20:28:00.000-05:00

A baby room needs to have dim lighting. Who wants to turn on a big overhead light when the baby wakes up at 3 am...NOT ME. Because our foster baby is literally arriving any minute, I set out on a search to find dim lighting this week.

Today I found this white lamp at the thrift store. Don't look too closely. I have plans of painting it when it stops snowing outside, but for now it will work.Yes, I realize that ugly bracket is hanging down, but it's what I have to work with. You get to see the ugly side of my home on this blog too. I'm hoping Joel will read this post and find a way to fix it :)

I went to Target and purchased every lamp shade on clearance today. Yes, I am that girl who clears out the clearance shelves & returns everything 3 months later.

Too white.

Too small.

And just perfect.

The little basket is slowly getting filled with baby essentials

Please ignore the changing pad. We haven't unwrapped it yet because we are not sure what our little baby is bringing to our home.

Look what else I found at the thrift store--a white piggy bank for just $1! Way too cute!

Our baby has a lamp & a piggy bank, but no diapers....you better believe it that we're all ready for his arrival :)

Chicago Love

2011-01-28T07:50:00.000-05:00

I love placing reminders of Chicago all over our home. It will always remain such a sweet spot in our hearts. After all, it was the city where we fell in love, started our first few years of marriage, & purchased our first home. In addition, it's just a really cool city.

Our long office hall way ( I promise an apartment tour is coming soon) needed additional furniture. I fell in love with a wooden chair at an antique store, but the $200 price tag was not going to work for me. I found this "beauty" at the thrift store for $3 and loved the way it matched our current desk chair.

I painted her black.

She still looked a little bare, so I begged and begged and begged Joel to let me buy myself a Christmas gift from Etsy. He's so sweet that he said yes. Not only did he say yes, he also chose not to have any Christmas gifts for himself this year & let me have all the Christmas money...I married well!

I found this adorable pillow, except I hate yellow. Thankfully the owner let me customize my order. I love etsy, like love etsy so much that I will consume hours of my week.

Kitty thinks she needs to be in every picture.

It really is a battle sometimes.

I'm pretty happy with my new pillow & my chair doesn't feel so naked anymore. Check out Nestahome on etsy. She has lots of pillow designs from all different cities & was super friendly during my pillow making process.

Baby Sign Inspiration

2011-01-27T19:35:00.000-05:00

This week we hung 3 new frames on the wall in the baby room. I haven't shown you the new frames because nothing is inside of them yet. I thought hanging a large, empty frame on the wall would help me hurry up & figure out what I want. It's kinda working, but not really. Here is my inspiration for a few signs that I'm considering.

Chocolate Cheese Ball

2011-01-23T17:02:00.002-05:00

Ready for a recipe that will break all New Year's weight loss resolutions? I made this for small group last night and it turned out pretty yummy and it seriously took less than 10 minutes to make.

(photo and recipe from House of Grace)

1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, softened

1/2 cup better, softened

1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

3/4 cup confectioners’ sugar

2 tablespoons brown sugar

3/4 cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips

3/4 cup finely chopped pecans

Graham crackers

Beat the cream cheese & butter until fluffy. Mix vanilla extract and sugars into the cream cheese and butter mixture. Add chocolate chips.
Refrigerate 2 hours.
Place cream cheese mixture onto plastic wrap and shape into a ball. Refrigerate 1 hour.
Cover the ball with the chopped pecans.
Serve with graham crackers. I used cinnamon graham crackers because they were 1/2 the price of the chocolate ones & they worked just fine too!

11 Goals in 2011

2011-01-20T21:12:00.000-05:00

We like goals, a lot. You can read about our 2010 goals here.

Here we go, 11 Goals in 2011 for Joel & Amy

1. Complete a Triathlon

This was a 2010 goal, but we're serious this year. We have already paid our registration fee and we hate wasting money. We'll be at the start & finish line of the Pittsburgh triathlon on July 31st.

2. Complete the 10 Day Real Food Challenge

We are on a quest to cut out preservatives from our life. We're starting slow-10 days of eating real food that will maybe, hopefully turn into a life time of very few preservatives.

3. Read Books

Joel wants to read 48 (and he has a whole outline of which genre of books) & I want to read at least 12. I know WAAAY less than my goal of 52 last year, but I have a business to pour into right now

4. Pick up the house every night

I realize this one sounds silly and we had it mastered living in Chicago. Our house looked beautiful every night. But, when I became a stay at home wife it was pretty easy to let a few dishes in the sink overnight & a few items sitting out knowing I'd pick it up in the morning. We're going back to our old ways of falling asleep in a totally clean house in 2011.

5. Joel's study goals

I'm pretty lucky to be married to a guy who takes his education very seriously. He has a life long goal of studying Greek & Hebrew every week for 1.5 hours. He has studied faithfully every week since graduation & plans to do the same in 2011, 2012, 2013 & every year after that.

6. Build deeper friendships

We have had a lot of fun meeting new friends in Pittsburgh the last 6 months and are excited for these friendships to deepen in 2011. We're hoping small group will help this as well as a few more Haldeman holiday parties & a bunch more dinner invites.

7. Sell our condo

We're waiting on our mortgage company for this one & they are s-l-o-w, like so slow that they lose all our paperwork, every week. Don't tell Chase that we don't like them very much right now. We really hope that 2011 will be the year that we can stop paying to live in 2 places.

8.Amy complete 1 DIY Project every month

I have fallen in love with thrift store shopping & DIY projects. This goal should not be a hard one!

9. Buy almost all clothing used

Except for our undies & socks of course! This means lots of thrift store & consignment store shopping.

10. Add at least 1 pin to our US map

11. Add a foster baby to our family

We're not really in charge of this one, but we're about as ready as we can be to say yes to a foster baby any day in 2011.

DIY Tray

2011-01-19T20:47:00.000-05:00

I've wanted a tray for about 9 months. I look every time I'm at the thrift store which all of you know is A LOT. Last Thursday I found my little gem way up on the top shelf.

It really wasn't an ugly frame to start with, but I had big dreams for this tray.

I took it apart. Painted it off white.

Then ironed a little fabric & used a hot glue gun to set the fabric in place and

Viola....my new tray:

I knew I wanted black & white fabric & went with the squares instead of floral fabric to match the candlesticks.

Price Breakdown:

Tray: $5 at the Thrift Store-I'm embarrassed that I paid full price for this at the thrift store, I had zero patience to wait for it's tag to go 50%

Paint: $1

Fabric: $2

$7 for a custom made tray...not too bad :)

US Map

2011-01-17T21:02:00.001-05:00

I am so excited to share my latest DIY.

Originally I saw this idea on Young House Love. It was pretty much love at first sight. I.heart.sentimental.DIY.

Here it goes...I picked up a shadow box frame at Hobby Lobby for $12.50. Painted it black. Bought some corkboard & a few pins. Then, printed a US map.

The point of this map: to mark the places we've been during our marriage. Granted, we've both been all over the US with our families, but those trips don't count. We're only marking the trips Joel & I have been on together. Layovers at an airport do not count either!

As you can see, we haven't been many places yet, but are excited for the years ahead to fill up this map with lots of pins in the future.

Green pins = places we've lived (Chicago & Pittsburgh)
Yellow pins = places we've visited
OTHER pins = we'll use other colors when Haldeman babies come along--we'll change the color of the pin as we add each kid to the family. Hopefully it will be a fun way for our kids to keep track of the states they have been to.

Not only is this a great project for ourselves--we also gifted these maps to our parents this Christmas.

My parents have traveled ALL over the US, but recently purchased a pretty sweet motorcycle to take long road trips on, so we gave them a map to mark their motorcycle trips. To personalize it, we added a picture of them standing next to their Goldwing. Secretly, I'm a bit jealous of the long trips they get to take on their Goldwing. Any short ride my dad takes me on is a total blast!

For Joel's parents, we made them a world map as his parents have traveled all over the world. Sorry, we forget to take pics of the world map. Because we could not find a shadow box large enough for a word map, we used a regular frame and gave them tiny gem stickers to mark the places they have traveled. Personally, I'd recommend searching a bit harder for a large shadowbox for a world map. The sticker idea just did not look as great.

There you go, a fun, sentimental DIY project that will last for YEARS! It's helping us to slowly fill the long hallway/office in our apartment.

My Desk

2011-01-14T10:59:00.001-05:00

I feel a little materialistic these days showing off all my new "things". But Christmas only comes once a year, right?

Joel's parents bought me this adorable flower pot for Christmas. They had seen me look at it longingly at Hobby Lobby over Thanksgiving. I was very happy to find this under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning!

It has found a perfect home on our desk where I get to look at it about 8 hours every day :)

Baby Room Wall

2011-01-12T09:41:00.000-05:00

One wall & a corner are complete in the baby room or what is Kitty's room at the moment.

So thankful for Christmas and birthday money to buy these new. What a treat to be able to buy all matching frames new!!

And a Target gift card to buy the shelves...

ABC blocks

Every room needs a plant.

...and a bear.

Hopefully we'll have the wall of this room finished in a few weeks.

I'm Spoiled

2011-01-10T20:36:00.000-05:00

I just love being married to a guy who is creative and loves to show his creativity in his cooking.

Dinner Tonight: Asian Lettuce Wraps & Peanut Thai Noodles

We have new dishes! They seem like a huge step up from the "temporary" dishes we purchased from the Dollar store almost 4 years ago. I'm so glad we saved a gift card we received for our wedding 3.5 years ago to buy these. Sometimes it takes me that long to make a decision!

Making Progress

2011-01-09T20:27:00.000-05:00

I am a little obsessed with organization and was probably too excited to add another shelf to our dining area, but I like the new look, a lot. I smile every time I look at these shelves now.

Our little dining room nook. Maybe tomorrow I'll start my $5 thrift store project to finish off this space.

I realized I never showed off my numbered stool's on here. We bought these stools for $5 on Craigslist 4 years ago. I thought it was silly to buy them at the time, but I'm thankful for this pair just about every day! Every time we move we consider just tossing them out, but they've always found a spot in every home.

We put them beside our butcher block table in our first apartment.

(that butcher block table will always have a special place in my heart)

Then moved them to our sorta-island in our condo. I never took a picture of their spot, but they were on the other end of this counter.

Now, we're happy to just rest them against the wall in our kitchen.

9 months ago, when Target decided to number their cookie jars, I decided to number my stools. I love the look of numbers on objects, but could not afford Target's cookie jars. So, I took my $5 stools and stenciled a couple of numbers on top.

I might be the only person that likes them, but that's ok with me :)

2010 Goals In Review

2011-01-04T23:18:00.001-05:00

We're planners. We like goals. We like checking things off our list.

Last year we made 5 goals for 2010 and blogged about them HERE. Let's see how we did.

Goal 1: Joel Earns his M.Div
Accomplished!!! He did the program in just 2 years and graduated with honors. You better believe it, I am one proud wife!

Goal 2: Remember to Send B-Day Cards
Kinda-accomplished. We did better than previous years, but still missed a couple of our nieces birthdays & my dad's b-day :(

Goal 3: Lower the Grocery Budget to $65/week including Toiletries/Cleaning Supplies
Accomplished in Chicago--complete failure in Pittsburgh.

Goal 4: Read 52 Books in One Year
Almost accomplished....I think I finished the year at 48 books. As crazy as it sounds, it was waaay harder to read 1 book a week when I was a stay at home wife starting a business than it was when I worked/commuted 60 hours a week. It must be the lack of the children's nap time/my "reading time" when I nannied.

Goal 5: Complete a Triathlon
Not done. Moving across a few states, starting a business, & not being able to sell our condo were all obstacles to completing this goal. But, we have 2011, right?

As easy as it is for a person like me to look at this list and see a lot of areas we failed, I feel really content at the steps we made toward reaching the goals. Attaining the goal is more about the process than the goal itself.

Sometimes the lessons learned along the way are silly, like the day we learned that every old lady at the pool could swim faster than us as we pursued training for a triathlon.

I am excited for 2011 and the new goals that are coming along with it.

A Tour of Christmas in Our Home

2010-12-24T08:40:00.001-05:00

Welcome to our apartment...all dressed up for Christmas.

I have always wanted a train around our tree...and love that I found one at the thrift store for $8 this fall.

I love displaying all of our Christmas cards here.

A paper garland never hurt anyone.

I adore the warmth of the Christmas lights in the kitchen. These just might be staying up all year.

French Onion Soup

2010-12-23T21:59:00.000-05:00

A few days before we moved from Chicago we went to a restaurant that was literally across the street from our condo. At the very end of our meal, Joel decided to order French Onion Soup. Although our bellies were full, we stuffed ourselves silly that day with French Onion Soup--it was seriously the best soup we had ever tasted. We couldn't believe we had lived next door to this soup for the last 2 years and had not eaten any.

I recently found a very similar recipe on Food Network. We've tried a lot of French Onion Soup Recipes in our day and this is by far our favorite!

Classic Onion Soup with Gruyere

Ingredients

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon butter
1 large yellow or Spanish onion, halved and thinly sliced
1 large red onion, halved and thinly sliced
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon dried thyme
2 bay leaves
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 cup port wine (or any red wine)
6 cups reduced-sodium beef broth
1 (2-inch) piece Parmesean rind
Reserved bread from bread bowls or 4 slices sourdough baguette, about 1-inch thick and lightly toasted
8 slices Gruyere cheese (we use Provolone)

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F and preheat broiler.

Melt butter and oil together over medium-high heat. Add onions and sugar and cook 10 minutes, until onions are tender and golden brown. Add thyme, bay leaves, salt, and black pepper. Cook 1 minute, until fragrant. Add wine and simmer until liquid is absorbed. Add broth and Parmesan rind and bring mixture to a boil. Reduce heat to low, partially cover and simmer 20 minutes.

Remove bay leaves and Parmesan rind. Ladle soup into oven safe bowls, top with bread and cheese. Broil 2 to 3 minutes, until cheese is golden and bubbly.

Adapted from Food Network.

Next Step in the Baby Room

2010-12-23T20:37:00.000-05:00

I think the baby room just might be the first room finished in our home....I'm pretty sure the last few items for the baby room decor are hiding underneath our tree right now.

I have been on the search to add pops of green to the room. Here is one DIY solution I found:

Gather a round mirror, paint brush, wooden rods, & paint

Paint away...

Use a hot glue gun to attach the rods to the mirror. SO thankful my husband found a hot glue gun while dumpster diving one night in Chicago--I use it all the time!

Then use 3m velcro strips to attach to the wall and hope it won't fall on the baby....

(i was really hoping those fingerprints would not show up in the pic....i really do clean my house)

I'm not sure if I like it...I need to add more rods, but it will work for now....

My Daily Drink

2010-12-19T15:45:00.000-05:00

I don't like lunch. I don't like sandwiches very much. It's far too easy for me to eat cereal for every.single.meal.every.single.day.

My new lunch meal of choice:

Almond Milk

1 Banana

Whey Protein (I like chocolate)

Ice Cubes

and yeah, I've been substituting some Jillian Michael's for my usual run. I usually dread my daily Jillian time, but she makes me feel so, so good the rest of the day. If you're looking for a good work out DVD--buy this one!

Craigslist Adventure

2010-12-16T21:40:00.000-05:00

We love Craigslist....every piece of furniture in our home is from Craigslist, except 1 chair and 1 buffet bought at a thrift store. Granted, Pittsburgh's craigslist isn't quite as great as Chicago's was, but we've still managed to find a few treasures.

Our newest treasure...a rocking chair for our baby room...just $40. I know I could have talked the guy lower, but I was feeling generous tonight & paid the full asking price.

(I realize this chair is begging for a little pillow...someday it will receive one)

I solved my curtain dilemma today too. I hate the price of curtains & fabric...they're way out of my budget & I cannot sew! I found $10 table cloth's at Wal-mart & hung them to a curtain rod with curtain clips at a fraction of the cost of fabric or curtains.

We have a few more items to hang on the wall and this room will be complete!!